To my superman <3

Have you ever done something you wish you hadn't? And after you think why did I do that and wish there was a way to change it back. That's exactly how I feel right now. I tend to be a person that over reacts over the smallest things. I wish I wasn't that way because now I think I lost the one guy that means the most to me. All because I over reacted. I started my internship a month ago and since then I never got to see my boyfriend because we were both working full time but opposite schedules. So we went from seeing each other about 5 times a week to only 1-2 times a week and that was the hardest thing for me to adjust to. Being with someone for 3 1/2 years and being with each other all the time and then not being able to see them and barely even talk hit me hard. I thought that me starting my internship and finishing school would be great for our relationship and it turned out to be the complete opposite. I just hated when I would look forward to seeing or talking to him, and he wasn't there. He started just going out with his friends/coworkers all the time instead and I felt like I became last in his life and that hurt. I wish I hadn't pushed him away like I did because I don't want to love anyone else. He was the one for me from day one. He always knew how to brighten my day and make me smile so much my cheeks would cramp. He was the one I wanted to fall asleep to and wake up next to. He's where I feel safe and where I can escape all the pain the my life. The one person I feel like when I'm with him all my problems just disappear and I feel like I'm going to be okay. He's one of the most caring, generous, loving and supportive men I know, and I've always admired that about him. He has always taken care if his family and been there for his friends when they need someone and even been there for my family and most of all me. He's my real life superman and I wish I could have him back in my life. We have been through pretty much every obstacle life can throw at you together and have found a way to climb over each one. I guess when I start to feel like I'm losing what I have good in my life, my guard goes right up and I prepare myself to lose what I have. All my life people have come and gone. And most of all the ones I had always loved and cared about the most have always left my life. It's something I have become to used to. I just wish for once someone would stay in my life that meant the world to me. I'm tired of feeling alone. I wish life came with a rewind button so I could go back to Wednesday and not have over reacted and pushed the man I love away. All I ever wanted was to finally finish school and find a job so I could be able to put more into our relationship. I've never made a lot of money, so my bf really was the one that supported everything we did. I helped out as much as I could with things. But I always looked forward to the day I could be like no I got this or be able to pay for my half. He has brought so much fun into my life. He had taught me how to live again. He has always been the one person besides my family I knew I could depend on, and pretty much the only person I could talk to about anything at all. He has seen my at my prettiest and most of all my ugliest and excepted me for who I was inside and out. I always pictured myself marrying him one day and having kids with him. I wanted that so badly. If I could I would re-do this last month and start over and find a way to make it work. He is the man for me and I don't want to lose him for good. If I could have one wish it would be to have the one person that knows me best back into my life. I want that happily ever after with him. I just wish it wasn't too late. <3